The creepy. The sweet. The “what the … “. This is Jonah in all of his four year old philosophical glory.
Jonah : Abby (my sister), I had a friend who died.
Me : what?! No you didn’t!
Jonah : yes I did! He died and it was sad!
Me : Jonah, what are you talking about? Who died?
Jonah : Yes he did! He climbed on a roof and he fell off!
Everyone in the room : ……..
Jonah : I kept slapping him, but he wouldn’t wake up.
After months and months of him telling everyone who would listen that he’s going to be jealous of the new baby …
“I’m going to be jealous of the baby. No I’m not. I just changed my mind. I’m gonna love it.”
Jonah : Mom lets play big bad wolf! (A game he usually plays with Zach)
Me in my best wolf voice : Little pig little pig let me come in!
Jonah : Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!
Me : Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down! (Did accordingly. Huffed and puffed and then knocked his house/box over.)
Jonah : Um. Mom?
Me : Yes? Did I play the game right?
Jonah : Um. No. You were creepy though. Good try, mom. Good try.
While at the grocery store one day ..
“Mom look!” (Points to bin of toys) “I think THOSE are in the budget!”
He found an empty airsoft gun in my parents’ kitchen drawer and kept trying to take it out to play with it. Zach took it away and explained to him that it was a real gun and we can’t play with real guns. Gun safety. All of that. Then this happened :
Zach : Jonah, you can’t play with this gun. It’s real. It can hurt people.
Jonah : No! It’s not real! It’s a toy!
Zach : No, it’s not. It’s a real gun. You can’t play with it.
Jonah : It’s NOT real. It’s a toy!
Zach : It IS real. Look, I’ll show you.
Jonah, running away in a panic : “NO!! DON’T SHOOT ME!!”
Randomly in the car one day when Emery was a little grumpy …
Jonah : Mom I can sing a song to help him go to sleep!
Me : Oh that’s so nice, Jonah. He would love that.
Jonah : I would do anything for my brother.
Me : UGH! Why do you boys have so many toys??
Jonah : Because you just keep buying them for us! (a valid point.)
Referring to Emery looking at me : “Aw, look mom. His face is in LOVE.”
Jonah : Mom. Emery is my boyfriend.
Me : No, he’s your brother. I think you mean he’s your best friend.
Jonah : No, he’s my boyfriend!
Me : No he’s not, buddy. He’s your friend. He’s your brother. But he can’t be your boyfriend.
Jonah : (getting upset) He IS my boyfriend! HE IS!
Me : (thinking we were just getting lost in semantics) Ok, fine. He’s your boyfriend. What do you think a boyfriend is?
Jonah : I have to buy him flowers and go on dates with him because he’s my boyfriend.
Decided to drop it cause things are now weird. Later on at McDonald’s …
Little girl in play place : Aww, is that your baby brother?
Jonah : (puts his arm around Emery and draws him in close.) No. He’s my boyfriend.
Jonah’s outfit is from FabKids. Sign up and get your first outfit for $15. AND if you get your friends to sign up with your link, you’ll rack up points to get free outfits. Once two friends purchase an outfit, you’ll get a free one! It’s a pretty sweet deal.