A Geeky Love Story *Guest Post By My Mom’s Geeky*

This is a guest post by Desiree from My Mom’s Geeky. Make sure to leave her some love and feedback in the comment section! Thanks for sharing, Desiree! 

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The start of 2009 was pretty much rock bottom for me. I had lost my government contract job and had to move across the country with my two cats and dog to live with my parents. On top of being completely humiliated after being on my own for almost 6 years and feeling like a professional failure, the night before I was suppose to drive 2000 miles from Florida to Arizona, my now ex-boyfriend of 8 years beat the snot out of me for calling him out for cheating on me.

I became this empty shell completely unsure about my entire existence. I had worked my entire life to be a successful person, so finding myself living my parents guest room was a serious slap in the face. To make matters worse, I was alone, but still in my relationship with my ex. We had all these stupid illogical reasons for ‘staying together’, but there really is nothing worse then ‘being with someone’ just be completely alone. It was dark, guys, really dark.

By May, I was still unemployed, still living with my parents, still with the same guy (who was living with his parents in Colorado and treating me like crap), and more lonely than I had ever been in my life. I literally had nothing going for me and no one to turn to for anything. I couldn’t do it anymore, so I turned to the internet. Not wanting to hookup, I searched and searched to find a place where I could just socialize and get to know some people who liked things I likes.

I stumbled upon Meetup.com, a site that brings people together through common interests. With Free Comic Book days right around the corner, a must go event for any geek, and there just so happened to be a Geek Meetup happening. I joined the group, RSVPed and made a plan to be there. It turned out to be exactly what I needed and so much more.

The following week, at the opening weekend of Star Trek, I meet my best friend Karen. She likes to tell the story like this:

Me: Hi, I’m Desiree!

Her: Hi, I’m Karen.

Me: What’s your number? We are going to be friends.

Well, I was right! Karen has been my biggest cheerleader and most understanding friend. She loves my freakyness, lets me grab her butt and cuddles with me on the couch. She was my Matron of Honor at my wedding and the guardian to my kids. She really has given so much and I am so thankful for her.

Anyway, for the first time in my life, I was finally starting to figure out who I was. It had nothing to do with my profession, it had nothing to do with my parents and it had nothing to do with a guy. I realized that all those things were burning me out and that I was obsessed with being who they all wanted me to be. It was very round peg in a square hole. I realized I didn’t want to be what they wanted me to be, I wanted to do thing my own way at my own speed with a whole lot of geek in there.

Fast forward to October. October 3rd, to be specific. Karen and I had started our own Meetup.com group called N.E.R.D.S. (Niche Enthusiast Really Doing Stuff) and we had planned to see Zombieland and go to JB’s Restaurant (it’s like a Denny’s) afterwards. Not one for Zombie movies, I came for the food (fat girl problems.)

I sat down at the end of the table and there he was. Now, most ladies wouldn’t have really given him much thought, but me, well, to be honest I didn’t either. But that isn’t the point, there he was. Glasses, Zelda hoodie (hood up) and a slice of half-eaten cheesecake. Yes people, HALF EATEN CHEESECAKE! The idea of not finishing dessert is a totally foreign concept to me, again fat-girl problems, so naturally I was like ‘um, why are you not eating the cheesecake?’

And that was how it started. There were a whole bunch of cute things that happened that brought us closer and closer together, like roaming around Barnes & Noble for 2 hours talking about books and comic and seeing Star Wars in Concert together, but what really brought us together was the desire to mend each other’s broken hearts and totally geeking out about things together.

Stephen, the him in this story, had been in a pretty destructive relationship himself. When it ended, he lost all his friends, his job and ended up moving to Kentucky to stay with his dad where he threw himself into movies and video games. He eventually ended up back in Phoenix where his worried mother made him go to the Zombieland Meetup because she just wanted him to get out of the house.

We started doing everything together and finding ways to make the other feel better. One thing lead to the other and well, he kissed me. It literally felt like lightning shot through my body. I felt like every bad thing that ever happened ever, that I was carrying around with me for so many years had been released. I was walking on a cloud of love.

I was completely and utterly, head-to-toe in love with him.

Geeky Love Story

I broke up with the loser, started dating Stephen, started my own social media business and haven’t looked back since. It has been over 5 years of geeky bliss. We have had some amazing adventures, one Disney perfect engagement (he proposed under Sleeping Beauties Castle), a Mario Kart themed wedding and made the most adorable Geek Baby ever on our Disney World honeymoon (we say he was made with Disney magic.)

Not to rub it in or anything, but my marriage is awesome. I used to have real guilt about it until I read Kristen’s post about ‘Why Is Having A Good Marriage A Bad Thing’, because our marriage just seemed so against what everything and everyone told us it would be. People always tell us all the time ‘oh just wait’ but we just blow them off. To us, marriage isn’t something that you just wait for the show to drop. Marriage is about love, adventure and always trying to be better for each other, our kids and ourselves. We encourage each other, push each other, have heated debates, argue with passion and have sex like horny teenagers (sorry mom).

After over 5 years, my heart still skips a beat for him. Why? Because I know I am a person worth loving. Because I know that by being who I truly am I can be happy. Hitting rock bottom allowed for me to find myself, which allowed for me to find who I needed.

Geeky Love Story

We are geeks in love. We nerd out over science and robots, we geek out of movies and video games, we go on really long car rides where we talk the whole way, we makes plans for the future and encourage each other’s dreams.

The force is strong with us and we have every intention of living long and prospering. My intention with sharing this with you is to share my story, make you smile and hopefully give those of you looking some hope. I’ve shared mine, lets hear yours. What is your love story?

Geeky Love Story

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Geeky Love StoryI am Desiree, Disney junkie, crafting nut, puppy rescuer of two, wife of handsome engineer Stephen and Geek Mom to my little squishy, Flynn (yes Flynn from Tangled. No my next kid will not be named Rider, but that would work for either a boy or a girl.) Anyway, I love being super geeky and I wear my cape proudly. When I am not teaching my son the ways of the force, reading him Harry Potter or working on his monthly cosplays, I spend my time talking and listening with my husband about life as we know it, video game ideas and the inevitable end of the world. We plan to have more spawn and love to travel anywhere and everywhere in our super awesome CR-V, Eugene (yes also from Tangled. Yes I am aware we are a little weird.) When adventure isn’t calling I cook, craft and take this mom & wife thing one day at a time. 

Follow more of Desiree’s Geeky awesomeness on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Pinterest.

Baby Registry Exchange!

Remember in December, how we had that amazing Amazon gift exchange thread and this community blew my socks off with your generous and caring hearts?? Yea. Well. We’re going to do that again. But this time, with baby registries.

Baby Registry Gift Exchange! Leave a link, get surprised by a stranger! Click the post for details.

I did a poll on my Facebook page recently and realized that most of my pregnant followers are due in April. Since there are so many April babies on the way, I thought this would be a good time to do this baby registry exchange and surprise a mama to be or two with a little something from her registry. But just so we’re clear, it doesn’t matter when your due date is, if you’re expecting a baby, register it up, ya’ll.

Here’s how it works.

Create your baby registry on amazon or babylist. Using babylist will give you a much wider range of things you can add to your list, but just know that your address will be viewable by whoever looks at your list. Amazon keeps your address hidden to everyone.

When creating your list, keep in mind that if you only have big ticket items like carseats and strollers and breast pumps, your chances of someone sending you something are slim. Most people don’t have the budget to send a stranger a big item, so add little things as well. Burp cloths, pacifiers, diapers, things like that. Once you’ve created your list, come back to the When at Home Facebook page on Februrary 1st and post your link! The thread will begin at noon (EST) that day and I’ll keep it open as long as people are participating.

The way the thread works is simple. You leave your link and, if you can, browse through the other lists and see if you’re able to bless a mama or two with an item from her list.  It is by no means required that you gift someone else something, but the only way this works is if people are actually buying things for each other, not just leaving links in hopes they’ll get something. Remember that this is a community of mamas and we have each other’s back. Do what you can, but don’t feel bad if you absolutely cannot purchase anything for anyone else.

And that’s it! I’m giving you a week to get those lists together! I’ll send out a few reminders via e-mail, so sign up for my list below!

Pin this image, share it on your Facebook page, send it to all your preggolicious friends, and spread the word. The more people to join in, the better. Let’s do this thing.

Nesting When It’s Not Your Home.

When we found out baby number three was on its way, one of the first things we talked about was how we absolutely, no doubt about it, had to be out of my parents’ basement by the time I was 30 weeks pregnant. I didn’t want to be unpacking boxes with a newborn around and I definitely didn’t want to bring a newborn into the basement. Things have changed.

In November, amongst a few other huge decisions we had to make, we made the choice to stay in my parents house until after the baby is born. We’re still not sure on the time frame of when we’ll actually move out, but it feels good to be able to say that we’re choosing this. It’s not choosing us. We’re not forced to stay here. This is our decision. This is what’s best for our family. We feel good about it. It’s nice to not be the victim anymore. Our life. Our choice. Anyhoo.

The living with other people in a house that’s not your own thing makes the nesting in your last trimester of pregnancy thing a bit complicated. This isn’t my home. We occupy the entire basement, or more accurately, the first floor. “Basement” implies dark and dusty, and it’s not that. There are windows and a door to the back porch (which was really nice in the summer). We have space down here. We have our own bathroom down here. We have closets and a bedroom. It’s really nice.

And I’m getting them nesting itches out, ya’ll.

Here’s what our living space looks like now. We have done very little to make things home-y and comfortable because we kept planning on leaving. Didn’t want to get invested in being down here. It took me 4 months to hang a picture on the wall. So most of what you see is what it looked like when we moved in. (Potato quality because iPhone panorama)

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And here’s where (and how) we all sleep.

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It’s all very basic and empty.  My heart just wasn’t in living here, so I refused to make it ours. But this baby changes everything. I hope you guys like room renovation posts because we’re making big changes to this basement of ours and I’m definitely going to want to show it off.

So. Here are all of the things that I want to be done (for the most part) by my 36th week, as I tend to go into labor around that time.

In the first photo, on the far left, there’s a couch pushed up against the door. That’s going to be my, Zach and the baby’s new “room”. We’re moving our bed and the pack ‘n’ play out there and hanging two curtains from the ceiling to make it feel a bit more separated from the rest of the living space.

Also. We’re moving ALL of those leather couches out of the basement (sorry, husband.) and into our church, and we’re taking our couch out of storage and moving it down here. We need the extra space that the useless couch is taking up and I want my fabric covered squishy comfortable couches back in my life. Especially since I’m going to be spending so much time in them nursing this new squish of ours. Zach’s really not looking forward to this part of my nesting demand, but he’s doing it with a smile. He’s a swell chap.

Also in the top photo, by the stairs, (where Zach and the boys are standing), that’s our current toy and play area. That’s becoming our office and all of the toys are being moved to the bedroom.

The bedroom is going to be Jonah and Emery’s room and playroom. We finally bought a crib for Emery, thanks to my instagram sale and one of my followers who happened to be selling a crib and happens to live near me, and it feels SO good to get him out of the pack ‘n’ play that he’s occupied since birth. He’s going to sleep on a real mattress for the first time ever. #badmomaward? This is the room I’m most excited to tackle. There is so much space in there and it’s gonna be nice to have all of their toys not in our main living area. I’ll probably put a rocker, another dresser, and a few bookshelves in there as well. We’ll see. One step at a time.

Nesting IS possible, even when you don’t have your own home. You just have to work with what you have and get creative and put your husband and his best friend and your brother and maybe all of his friends to work.

For those of you that are more organizational and interior design-y than me, please don’t be shy to offer up your suggestions! And feel free to leave links to other blog posts or products or whatever that’ll help us get our ish together before baby gets here!

The fact that it’s even time for me to be posting about these sorts of things gives me heart palpitations. I’m about to have a third kid, yo. BRB. Gotta go find a bag to hyperventilate in.

32 Week Bumpdate

Um. So I definitely planned on doing more of these bump dates but now I’m approaching the end of this pregnancy and that is just CRAZY. Nonetheless, here’s a little update for you.

32 week bump date

I’m feeling so done it’s not even humorous anymore. I don’t remember getting like this so early on with either of the boys. I mean I am DONE. Even with my growing list of “ish we need to do before baby arrives”, I’m totally ok with not doing anything and just having this baby out of my body. I am so uncomfortable. Everything hurts worse sooner and for longer than with the first two. AND THE BRAXTON HICKS? Ughhhhhhhh. Third pregnancy is not a walk in the park. Is this baby cooked yet? Get it together, body.

I’m still not really craving anything. Zach says I probably do have cravings, but it’s just a normal part of life for me. Even when I’m not pregnant, I all of a sudden need a certain food right then at that very moment. But if there’s anything I can’t get enough of, it’s cauliflower. Oh sweet Jesus. Cauliflower all the things. Roasted, on pizza, in buffalo sauce, raw…yea. Anyway I can get it. It’s so good.

What UP bell-ay

On the topic of food, I’m trying to trim down my sweet tea inhalation. It never bodes well for me when I’m nursing, so I’m doing what I can now to break the addiction. And it is an addiction. It’s like this compulsive need when we’re anywhere near Chick fil A or Zaxby’s (p.s. Zaxby’s tea is better), I just have to get a sweet tea. But I need to start cutting myself off now before baby comes and it causes all the inevitable tummy problems. Sweet tea, dairy, and spicy foods are all things that I say good-bye to when baby is nursing. Sigh. It’s worth the sacrifice, but I miss those things when they’re gone. Bye cilantro. I’m going to miss you so much it hurts. Sniff.

I’ve gained a lot of weight. I don’t want to talk about it. 146 at my last appointment. That’s a 28 pound gain. Go me. Might be because of the cookie dough eating.

cookie dough is my life

Jonah’s getting pretty creative with his baby name suggestions. His latest ideas : Michaelangelo Buttflicks, Shina, Hamato-yoshi (seriously.), and Shanku. You’d think we watch a lot of anime or something. We don’t. Kids are weird.

Emery is obsessed with babies and I’m getting so excited to see him as a big brother. I still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that my baby isn’t going to the baby in a few months. He’s still so little to me. He snuggles and cries and still has his binky. (And no, it’s not going anywhere anytime soon, I don’t care what anyone says. I need that thing.) I know that as soon as this baby is born, his hands are going to look so huge. That was the first thing I noticed about Jonah after Emery was born. All of a sudden, he had toddler hands and wasn’t my baby anymore. I’m really kind of emotional about that, but I know Emery’s going to be such a sweet big brother. He obviously is too young to understand that there’s an actual human inside my belly, but he always comes up to me and pulls up my shirt and kisses my belly, rubs it, and says, “Daaaaaaa.” which is Emery for “niiiicce”. Let’s hope he’s as sweet with the baby as he is with my belly. Me thinks there might me some serious jealousy to look forward to. But we’ll see.

The not knowing the gender thing is starting to annoy me a little. Not enough to make me want to find out what it is, I’m so glad we don’t know, but the not being able to prepare is so frustrating! If it’s a boy, no big deal. No big changes. We have all of the clothes and blankets and socks and hats to last until he’s at least 4. But if it’s a girl…. Ok now don’t get on my case about the gender thing. I know. I KNOW girls can wear “boy” things. But really, I’m just so sick of seeing the same clothes over and over and over again. If I have a girl, I want all new things. New clothes. New blankets. New hats. New socks. New shoes. New everything! Because GIRL. So the not being able to prepare for the potential wardrobe change is annoying, but I know it’ll be fine. Newborns don’t need clothes anyway. A white onesie, diaper, a good swaddle blanket, those are pretty much the essentials, right?

yoga kind of

As we get closer to the 36 week mark, which is when I went into labor both times, I’m starting to get a little nervous about the whole birth process. It never gets easier, mamas. Hate to break it to you. You’ll always be nervous. I had two totally different birth experiences so I’m kind of anxious about what this one will be like. Everyone tells me the third baby is the wild card. I was in labor for 14 hours with Jonah. It was an invasive and traumatizing experience that maybe someday I’ll write about, but it’s what led us to being anti hospital and pro home birth. When our home birth midwife quit us after 2 days in labor and almost 5 cm dilated 4 days before Emery was born (yea.), we were forced into a hospital birth and it was such a beautiful and redeeming experience. It was perfect. The midwife that delivered Emery was incredible. (You can read his birth story here.) Anyway, the point is, the two night and day birth experiences make me reallyyyy nervous about this one. I don’t even know how to prepare for it. But I’m also kind of excited. Zach’s an amazing birth coach/partner and I love sharing the experience with him. It’s so special. Anyway. I’m rambling for real.

And there’s my bump date. Can this count as What Would A Mom Wear post too? Cool. Cause I kind of like my outfit. Even the striped socks. Fun fact : those jeans are not maternity. They’re being held up by a super stretched out hair tie on the button and a belly band and a super tight camisole. I win. And the shoes are my sister’s but I’m never giving them back.

I’m Lowering My Expectations for 2015–and You Should Too

During our Thrive Intentionally live chat (you can watch the video here), we were talking about goal setting and someone asked me if my goals have changed for 2015, knowing that I have another baby on the way. Such a good question and one that I hadn’t consciously thought about. My answer to that question is pretty simple. This year, I am 100% lowering my expectations.

Lowering My Expectations for 2015

Since it’s January, and we’re all in goal setting mode, I think it’s important that we take a step down from ideal and focus on reality. I am an extremely goal oriented person, so when it comes to creating new goals to accomplish, I get a little excited. I go a little crazy. This  year, when I sat down to write down my goals, one of the first things I wrote was “have a baby”. Zach laughed at me, because can it really be a goal if it’s something that inevitable? And to that I say, hec to the YUH. Creating a human is hard work. Delivering a human is hard work. Having a new human living in your house is harder than both of those things combined and times 100 million. Writing that goal down before I wrote anything else helped me keep my goals simple and realistic. Having a baby changes everything and I’m not going to expect myself to be superwoman. I’m going to have three kids. Two of which will be under the age of two. Two in diapers. I have to give myself permission to relax, take care of myself, and not put any unnecessary pressure on myself to do more, be more, or have more. I have to be ok with whatever the newborn stage brings and whatever that means for my productivity and home life.

So, 2015, I’m officially lowering my expectations. There are things I want to do this year for sure.

I want to speak at a conference.

I want to land a book deal.

I want to cut out white carbs and sugar after the baby is born.

I want to read all the books on my “to read” list.

I want to be more intentional about my friendships.

I want to start a Bible study/small group for the women in my community.

But I know that I might not be able to do those things. I might be able to do some of them, I might be able to do all of them, but I might not. And I have to be ok with that. You have to be ok with not meeting all of your goals too. Mamas, we put enough pressure on ourselves throughout the year and we don’t needed the added stress that New Year’s “resolutions” bring. Set your goals, dream your dreams, and create a plan to make those things happen. But don’t kill yourself trying to get there. Don’t beat yourself up if you fail. Don’t sacrifice your sanity and your time with your family to make some arbitrary goal a reality. Celebrate little wins. Even if they seem teeny and insignificant, celebrate them. Pat yourself on the back and call it a day.

And don’t even think about comparing yourself to any other single person in your life or on your newsfeed. Forgettaboutit. You don’t see their whole story. Remember that some people just like to post things on social media that make themselves look like they have it all together. Some people live their entire lives like that, even offline. They only let people in on the highlights, and never on the ugly failure stuff. That’s not you. You’re real. You understand that people fail and life can’t be all sunshine and rainbow farts. Remind yourself of that when you’re tempted to compare yourself to the mom who seems to have it all together. She doesn’t. She’s faking it. And even if she isn’t, even if she has her ish 100% together and she’s better than you at everything, don’t fall into the comparison trap. You can only do so much. Trying to do more than what your mind and heart and soul can handle will benefit no one. Accept defeat when you have to and try again another day.

All that being said, let’s get to making 2015 the best year ever. Strengthen your weaknesses, make things happen, achieve your goals, dream your dreams. Just don’t fall into the fetal position and cry yourself to sleep if and when one of those goals falls through the cracks. Let’s all fail together and then we’ll laugh about it later.