This is a guest post by Desiree from My Mom’s Geeky. Make sure to leave her some love and feedback in the comment section! Thanks for sharing, Desiree!
The start of 2009 was pretty much rock bottom for me. I had lost my government contract job and had to move across the country with my two cats and dog to live with my parents. On top of being completely humiliated after being on my own for almost 6 years and feeling like a professional failure, the night before I was suppose to drive 2000 miles from Florida to Arizona, my now ex-boyfriend of 8 years beat the snot out of me for calling him out for cheating on me.
I became this empty shell completely unsure about my entire existence. I had worked my entire life to be a successful person, so finding myself living my parents guest room was a serious slap in the face. To make matters worse, I was alone, but still in my relationship with my ex. We had all these stupid illogical reasons for ‘staying together’, but there really is nothing worse then ‘being with someone’ just be completely alone. It was dark, guys, really dark.
By May, I was still unemployed, still living with my parents, still with the same guy (who was living with his parents in Colorado and treating me like crap), and more lonely than I had ever been in my life. I literally had nothing going for me and no one to turn to for anything. I couldn’t do it anymore, so I turned to the internet. Not wanting to hookup, I searched and searched to find a place where I could just socialize and get to know some people who liked things I likes.
I stumbled upon Meetup.com, a site that brings people together through common interests. With Free Comic Book days right around the corner, a must go event for any geek, and there just so happened to be a Geek Meetup happening. I joined the group, RSVPed and made a plan to be there. It turned out to be exactly what I needed and so much more.
The following week, at the opening weekend of Star Trek, I meet my best friend Karen. She likes to tell the story like this:
Me: Hi, I’m Desiree!
Her: Hi, I’m Karen.
Me: What’s your number? We are going to be friends.
Well, I was right! Karen has been my biggest cheerleader and most understanding friend. She loves my freakyness, lets me grab her butt and cuddles with me on the couch. She was my Matron of Honor at my wedding and the guardian to my kids. She really has given so much and I am so thankful for her.
Anyway, for the first time in my life, I was finally starting to figure out who I was. It had nothing to do with my profession, it had nothing to do with my parents and it had nothing to do with a guy. I realized that all those things were burning me out and that I was obsessed with being who they all wanted me to be. It was very round peg in a square hole. I realized I didn’t want to be what they wanted me to be, I wanted to do thing my own way at my own speed with a whole lot of geek in there.
Fast forward to October. October 3rd, to be specific. Karen and I had started our own Meetup.com group called N.E.R.D.S. (Niche Enthusiast Really Doing Stuff) and we had planned to see Zombieland and go to JB’s Restaurant (it’s like a Denny’s) afterwards. Not one for Zombie movies, I came for the food (fat girl problems.)
I sat down at the end of the table and there he was. Now, most ladies wouldn’t have really given him much thought, but me, well, to be honest I didn’t either. But that isn’t the point, there he was. Glasses, Zelda hoodie (hood up) and a slice of half-eaten cheesecake. Yes people, HALF EATEN CHEESECAKE! The idea of not finishing dessert is a totally foreign concept to me, again fat-girl problems, so naturally I was like ‘um, why are you not eating the cheesecake?’
And that was how it started. There were a whole bunch of cute things that happened that brought us closer and closer together, like roaming around Barnes & Noble for 2 hours talking about books and comic and seeing Star Wars in Concert together, but what really brought us together was the desire to mend each other’s broken hearts and totally geeking out about things together.
Stephen, the him in this story, had been in a pretty destructive relationship himself. When it ended, he lost all his friends, his job and ended up moving to Kentucky to stay with his dad where he threw himself into movies and video games. He eventually ended up back in Phoenix where his worried mother made him go to the Zombieland Meetup because she just wanted him to get out of the house.
We started doing everything together and finding ways to make the other feel better. One thing lead to the other and well, he kissed me. It literally felt like lightning shot through my body. I felt like every bad thing that ever happened ever, that I was carrying around with me for so many years had been released. I was walking on a cloud of love.
I was completely and utterly, head-to-toe in love with him.
I broke up with the loser, started dating Stephen, started my own social media business and haven’t looked back since. It has been over 5 years of geeky bliss. We have had some amazing adventures, one Disney perfect engagement (he proposed under Sleeping Beauties Castle), a Mario Kart themed wedding and made the most adorable Geek Baby ever on our Disney World honeymoon (we say he was made with Disney magic.)
Not to rub it in or anything, but my marriage is awesome. I used to have real guilt about it until I read Kristen’s post about ‘Why Is Having A Good Marriage A Bad Thing’, because our marriage just seemed so against what everything and everyone told us it would be. People always tell us all the time ‘oh just wait’ but we just blow them off. To us, marriage isn’t something that you just wait for the show to drop. Marriage is about love, adventure and always trying to be better for each other, our kids and ourselves. We encourage each other, push each other, have heated debates, argue with passion and have sex like horny teenagers (sorry mom).
After over 5 years, my heart still skips a beat for him. Why? Because I know I am a person worth loving. Because I know that by being who I truly am I can be happy. Hitting rock bottom allowed for me to find myself, which allowed for me to find who I needed.
We are geeks in love. We nerd out over science and robots, we geek out of movies and video games, we go on really long car rides where we talk the whole way, we makes plans for the future and encourage each other’s dreams.
The force is strong with us and we have every intention of living long and prospering. My intention with sharing this with you is to share my story, make you smile and hopefully give those of you looking some hope. I’ve shared mine, lets hear yours. What is your love story?
I am Desiree, Disney junkie, crafting nut, puppy rescuer of two, wife of handsome engineer Stephen and Geek Mom to my little squishy, Flynn (yes Flynn from Tangled. No my next kid will not be named Rider, but that would work for either a boy or a girl.) Anyway, I love being super geeky and I wear my cape proudly. When I am not teaching my son the ways of the force, reading him Harry Potter or working on his monthly cosplays, I spend my time talking and listening with my husband about life as we know it, video game ideas and the inevitable end of the world. We plan to have more spawn and love to travel anywhere and everywhere in our super awesome CR-V, Eugene (yes also from Tangled. Yes I am aware we are a little weird.) When adventure isn’t calling I cook, craft and take this mom & wife thing one day at a time.